One Way to be an Intentional Parent in Any Season

credit: Andriyko Podilnyk

The startling reality that sinks into my belly like a bag of sand is this: time is spent and never made. I can make more money, rewrite a rough draft, retry a recipe but I can never relive a day. Time is such a precious gift we’ve been given. In our consumer culture, we seem to forget that time marches on, and what’s gone is gone. We can’t buy more, try it on for size and then return it.

Each day we do life together is closer to the end, and the hard truth is that we are not owed an equal end. Those whose lives have been touched by loss know this bitter truth. We are not all owed 80+ years of long, happy life. My end may be far sooner than yours, but I don’t know. Like daily manna, I’m blessed with my daily portion from the Lord, once it’s gone it’s gone and only he can decide to grant more or withhold. This is why time-management matters to me. Not so I can do the most, but so I can live well. And yet, I still find myself wasting time, or getting carried away by busyness all too often.

Life is ever changing, and each season is so different it can be hard to keep up. Many times when the dust has settled I realize that I lost some time in that cloud. I had traded intention for accomplishment or busyness. As mothers we’re reminded that we will miss these days, and I’m certain we all will, even the most present and intentional among us, because each day is a gift.

Credit: Nathan Dumlao

How can we keep ourselves anchored in intention when the waves of life threaten to keep us scrambling? We create anchors.

Life will be busy, and some seasons will feel more like survival, but these anchors will keep us from drifting completely off course as the days march on. Practically speaking, anchors are pockets in our days that hold space for the things that matter the most to us.

What is it that fills you and your loved ones? Oftentimes when mothers feel they aren’t doing enough it’s not because lack of tasks, but the nature of the tasks. Are we making time for deeper connections? The things that don’t make a visible impression on the state of our home or our task list, but have a large impact. Evening story times, a walk around the block, uninterrupted meal times where you linger over conversations, working alongside each other on a task, regular family nights. Carving out regular daily time for connection so that even in the busy seasons that thread remains. I’m not saying you’ll stick to it perfectly every day, but you’ll reorient back to those things regularly, keeping them as part of the foundation of everything else you do. If you don’t have these pockets of time just yet, pair them with routines that are already part of your day. Meal times are the greatest place to start because everyone has to eat. Maybe you can add something to your evening bedtime routine. Pay attention to the connections that fill the tanks of those you love and find ways to incorporate opportunities for that into each day.

If you’ve struggled with feeling like time with your family is passing you by in a season of busyness or overwhelm I want to encourage you to build one anchor into your day this week and see how you feel! Maybe you pick one meal where you will put aside all distractions and ask questions.

Maybe you start taking evening walks together as a family. Maybe you choose one child to accompany you while you run errands.

Maybe you linger for an extra 15 minutes after you tuck them in. Start with something simple that you can tack on to parts of your daily life in your current season. You can always grow from there, but even better, you can always return to this one thing.

If you're feeling frustrated or sad for time lost, let me encourage you, as long as we draw breath we can continue to learn and grow. God is gracious, pour your heart out to Him and ask for wisdom and direction in this area. We don’t parent in our own strength and we have a helper who cares deeply for our families!